'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Marlowe Not a diner was open, except for Old Joe’s The jukebox was roaring, with retro swing tunes, The tables were scattered with forks and with spoons, The waitstaff were hungry to head home to bed, With daydreams of paychecks that danced in their heads; And out in the snow was a witch all alone, With a book and some chalk and an all-seeing stone. She entered the diner for a booth to the right, Chief Occultist of Marlowe, Miss Eva Penwright. In the Veil of dark magic and honey-touched lies She summoned an imp while ordering fries The time was just right, and after six tries Out came the son of the Lady of Flies\! A whip of the wind, and a napkin was flown, A crackle of smoke\! The smell of brimstone Was hidden by char of a burger, cooked well. A devil, a fiend, a creature of Hell. “Who dares summon me? To the mortal plane?” It asked, and she smiled, slightly insane. “I bring you right here, oh lover of meals, To eat and to drink and then make some deals.” No Duke he was yet, it was him but much younger, But now, his anger was quelled by his hunger. She ordered him burgers, milkshakes, and fries Then finished his feast with a big apple pie “Oh Hell\! Oh me\! A tear in my eye.” So filling, so scrumptious, he’d happily die. The devil was puzzled, by this woman’s zeal. Why give him man’s food? A miracle meal? “You see, dear young Eggy, in trade for this night, You pledge a short service, your teeth in a fight.” With a whirlwind swoosh, they leaped to their feet, They marched on the street, on snow and on sleet. In Marlowe, there was a mad beast to be found Even on Christmas, there were demons abound No worse than the one prowling the campus The beast known by name, the demon o’ Krampus He stole away children throughout the whole town But Penwright was bold; she never backed down She called forth her summons, the ones she had tamed Cherubs and imps, they all were now named. "Now, *Charmer*\! now, *Harmer*\! now *Skinner* and *Amon*\! On, *Keon*\! on, *Delon*\! *and now Egelon*\! To the top of the horns\! to the tip of the tail\! Now slash away\! slash away\! slash without fail\!” A battle so fearsome, of spells and of teeth Until Krampus fell, like leaves off a wreath It ran to the south, to the only last light, Joe’s diner, but now, it was stopped by Penwright, Slashed one last time, right at the door, The demon died on the welcome mat floor. The patrons kept eating, but the imps yelled hooray\! Penwright stood proud, having now saved the day. The summons unneeded; it was time to dispel Sent back into heaven, or sent back into hell But before Eggy left, he saw the diner aglow That strange little spot, in this strange Marlowe. Egelon vowed he’d own it one day With a final rune, Penwright sent him away But he heard her exclaim, ‘fore he morphed out of sight— *“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night\!*